her last...

These few days we were all busy at Granny's wake. The 1st day was emotional as we had just lose her. After a while, we were able to hold ourselves together after accepting the truth.

Then we were kept busy being hosts at the wake, we caught up with all the cousins that we haven been meeting...

♥♥ Service ♥♥

The no. of people who attended the wake is surprising. Granny had clearly been a nice woman. All of the testimonies about her was she fought bravely with her pain and hadn't fail to testify God in her life through out the toughest period. She always pray for her children, Husband and grandchildren... What else can we ask for? a woman that often petitioned for us, I'm sure now she's right beside God asking for more and more for us, the living...

♥♥ final day - the departure ♥♥

When the 5th day came, everyone knew we're going to bid her body goodbye. That's a tough one!

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Left to Right: Wei Guang (1st son of 2nd Aunt), Jian Guang (1st son of 1st Uncle)

But it had to come anyway. The male cousins carried her in the coffin to load her up the van that would take us to Mandai Crematorium.

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Left to Right: 2nd set, Jian You (younger son of 1st uncle) Sheng Xiong, Danny (younger son of 3rd uncle)

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This signifies fillial piety and definately the no. of grandchildren she had.

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It's the 1st time seeing this, hence it got me quite excited.

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Left to Right: 3rd set, Deroy and Jarek (my brothers, we're children of the youngest daughter)

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This was the practice session about 1 hour before the moving off. They were all pretty serious by this time, while i was still slow in catching up with the change in mood.

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Left to Right: Deroy, Jian You, Wei Guang, Jian Guang, Sheng Xiong, Jarek

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Then there were some changes last min, Eunice wanted Jing Xiang to be in the team but i dun want since he's so late. But i understand that he represents 4th uncle in this.

Since both my brothers were in the team, Jarek gave up his part voluntarily but unwillingly... He's quite somebody, i wouldn't be happy to do that. But he has always been so nice and kind... I was really upset with Eunice, was never really happy with her since we're young... rivalry

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She speaks with the "listen to me, cos i'm always right" attitude that never fails to sicken me.

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It then changed really fast when the clock striked 2pm. All of us turned solemn, waiting for Pastor Joey to say the comforting words and que us to leave.

It's really very difficult to handle that overwhelming emotions. When will i see her again? The memory video re-runs itself in everyone's head...

♥♥♥ Moving off ♥♥♥

Emotions overwhelmed at this moment, everyone carried heavy footsteps when we slowly walked behind the 6 men with granny.

But I thought Pastor Joey spoke with little empathy, i'm sure he had been to many departures, but he could have done this a little better, more sensitive and more tactful.

♥♥♥ my thoughts ♥♥♥

As we've been through these 5 days, I was wondering if Granny would be touched or would she even know it while it's happening. Or she will only be ressurrected on Jesus' 2nd coming? I think she'll know while it's happening because Jesus told the "repented" robber that he would be with Him on this day... But is it only for the dead that was dead before Jesus breathed His last on the cross?

I know Granny wants all her children to become christians because she experienced the peace that she never had during her believing days.

She had strongly favoured a few of her grandchildren, therefore i believed that she did make special or more requests to God to ask for their lives too. I too hope each and everyone of our cousins can be although i dun really like Eunice. I figured the hell is too much for anyone. The ETERNAL fact is terrifying. Of course, the idealistic view is that there's reincarnation. But i'm afraid that there isn't. And given my not-so-kind heart, i think i would likely not going to be a human on the basis of taoism. I also think most of the people will not be... haha, that's because i've seen many evil people.

After sending off, we took a bus to Mandai. I hate cremating, cos it feels heartlessly painful even though i know the flesh is passed. sucks...

The emotional episode ends with leaving the crematorium. I'm glad it did. It's of course sad but a little terrifying to think that we see her being pushed into the flames.

Now i missed Granny every other sec. She lived her last as a faithful believer, that shook me alot. I can't even recall the days when i lived this closely to God, i missed those days. I could see how much Granny enjoyed that relationship, i wish i could get there again. Thank Granny for waking me up from my comfort zone.