My many thoughts for the day..

The day is finally coming to an end… Gosh! It’s a long day. I had time to draw an isometric plan for our DIY bed… I think I’m still considerably good in that skill, meaning haven deteriorated too much.

Look at Hus’, his is short-cut version, yucks! So lazy... Everything also short-cut. He called me just now to ask abt the location of the measuring tape, I sort of remember where it is and it’s really there… I surprised myself sometimes when I do this. I think I have photographic memory but Hus… His memory is really very bad and he puts things everywhere.

Woodlands house is in a mess most of the time. FIL says it’s because of Hus, I will get to experience it myself when 30th April arrives. Nonetheless, I still look forward to staying alone with Hus. Like a wedded couple mah… Can you imagine wearing bra whenever you’re in the living room? My poor boops need a good break… worse, you can’t mask your face while watching tv and doing ironing together… such waste of precious time.

FIL always blame Hus for the many mis-happenings around the house. Like the messy newspapers, the un-shut windows, the unwashed utensils, etc… while BIL seems to be the perfect son around. If he’s not at home, he’s working late or studying over time in school… This disturbs me… cos the fact is BIL sometimes just dint come home and stays over at Gf’s… but it’s always because he’s busy to FIL… He always has his explanation which I couldn’t stand sometimes.

That’s why recently I feel impatient staying at home, I count down to shifting everyday. I’m even afraid that FIL might pop by very often… I do need my time with MY HUS… give me a break!

♥ slog ♥

I was wondering why we need to work. I feel that Hus and my work is of no eternal values. We just need the MONEY..
I would never know what I would be doing 5 yrs down the road. Essentially, I’m wasting my time now to earn money to buy clothings, food and above all, to DIVE… But will I ever not find fulfillment in these?
I get envious of people who work and get paid well. Their dive trips are to further than mine and more frequent.

♥ married ♥

Do you think Hus and myself have got married to many restrictions?
Cos now we can’t spend irresponsibly, like my money isn’t mine totally and vice versa… and we bounded by restrictions which sometimes trade off fun inevitably?

I dun even know if I can open abt telling him my guilt felt in my past relationships and he dun seemed interested. I wonder if he will ever be interested in my life as much as I am in his. It seems Iike I’m always asking him about his childhood, his teenage life and army daze… he dun ask abt me and sometimes I get shameless enough to tell him without having him to first ask. Haha

I'm clingy and needy like we were courting, but he’s not anywhere near it. He seems to want a (no no no, it should be) THE distance badly. I’ve learnt and been practicing to keep quiet and be mellow in speech. I think he’s enjoying it… I’m enjoying it too. I’ve tried to talk very much because he said we aint communicating enough; fact is I dun enjoy talking. I do have lots of problem in voice projection, hence I dun like to TALK. But he’s letting me talk solely and not listening. So I better be myself.
Since Hus like a quiet marriage, it’s nice and good. But I know I’m becoming more independent and less needy of him. I’m beginning to take him as a friend which I’m very comfortable at this level. Do you think it will become dangerous?