and the battle continues

Thaddeus has a tiny bit of sadness when we're preparing for school. He started crying during putting on of shoes; he still let go of me to follow papa out of the door when he knows it's time...
He requested to go "gai gai", we said we'll go after school tdy.
11am- I'm having my me-time. I dint sleep well at night. Both the kids were demanding at night. Kay demanded frequent feeding and Thad kept calling out mummy mummy.
Although I can be sleeping now, I dint. I actually miss Thad. I feel awkward putting him in school for so long. But I could catch up with the chores and have all the time with him later. His absence made me wonder why am I a sahm. I know it's right that he's given structured learning, I feel a little guilty abt missing his 1st year out when he should be with his mummy, just like what i'm doing with kay now.
One day, kay will also be independent enough to be on her own, with teachers singing and dancing in school. Then I'll be back in the society, getting sick of the me-self time, missing my kids all the time.
4pm - pick up
Thad cried when he saw jan and enoch at the window. Apparently that made him frantic and super home sick.
Teacher was holding on to his bag running behind him, who was holding his bottle, crying and shouting "ah yi, ah yi" he said pointing to the windows on the other side of the room. Jan and enoch's appearance totally gave him jitters. I hope it won't have any repercussions.张老师 said Thad is a little moody tdy (thinking: but he's better at home this morning, no major tantrums or struggle), yesterday was better. He got uncomfortable right after lunch, show signs of missing; then was okay after milk and nap. He woke up after less than an hour. He was quiet lying down waiting for the rest of the class to wake up. Something the teachers dint expect since it's only his 2nd nap so far (i felt like a super proud mum here, bcos I make him lie on the bed until over the planned nap time even at home), then his discomfort was detected again right after his tea time snack around 3pm.